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If you’re happy and living to the fullest extent, or at least trying, then I wish you the best. I give thanks for you, and you can skip this article.
I’m writing this one for people who want to die.
I’m not a guru of what life should or shouldn’t be, or how we should or shouldn’t live. In fact, I sat and wondered about so many other people and things I could’ve written about. However, this one’s been on my mind for some time and I just couldn’t shake it. I see the work that Choose Life International is doing (big ups to Uncle Donovan and Aunty Faith). I see the news reports about suicides and the misinformation that overflows in the comments – after all, nobody really seems to care. I hear all the stories from friends and associates. In fact, I’ve had to talk myself out of the ideation a few times, and still do so every few times per year.
I’m not going to give you all that jazz about life being great, and how you should be more positive, and how you should pray more. You’ve thought, and thought, and heard what people have to say, and examined all your fears about this one hundred times. What I am going to ask you is this – what if your life does change?
You see, no one really wants to die. It’s pain that makes you fall in love with the idea that you can escape your suffering by dying. I believe in life after death, and punishment and reward, and heaven and hell. What I don’t believe in is that heaven or hell can’t be experienced here on earth; people are enjoying life and suffering at the same time, so much so that you’d be shocked cold if people told you some of their stories.
Your situation is heavy, and dull, and it’s making you go numb, and your strength is basically gone. I get that. It doesn’t have to stay that way, though. Tables turn.
Even in counselling, people can only advise you based on what you tell them. How you see your hardships and pain is what informs your thought process. This can be a state brought on by various mental issues, or tragic circumstances. It’s not something one can always control; but you do know you have moments when you’re grounded and can examine your thought process. What do you do in those times?
I can’t tell you how to make the thoughts go away, and I won’t try. What I can advise (having tried this mental manipulation on myself and others) is that you remember what you have accomplished. You breathe. You eat. You sleep. You like things, even if you don’t like them right now. You have an opinion. I’m not even trying to be positive, but these are all worthwhile accomplishments that society teaches us to take for granted. You’re important to the space you’re in, and looking at your life today you’ll never see the full ripple effect of your actions. We literally write history.
Fam. You can do it enuh. But just remember that you’re probably in the middle of an amazing story, and if you close the book halfway you aren’t doing yourself much good. When you watch a movie you don’t shut it off at the half way mark. When you bathe, you don’t leave the shower without washing off the soap, or without using soap at all (at least I hope you don’t).
Push through. Continue. Live. At your own pace.
Blessings in abundance!