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“Emotional availability describes the ability to sustain emotional bonds in relationships. Since it’s pretty much impossible to have a healthy relationship without an emotional connection, emotionally unavailable people tend to struggle in relationships, often preferring to date casually and keep some distance.” – Healthline
There are men and women who find it difficult, and may think it impossible, to foster emotional connections with others. Today, we focus on the emotionally unavailable man.
Life is hard. If you ask anyone this, they will most likely agree with you while thinking back on the reasons they have for the justification of this statement. However, in a world that seeks out positivity and praises one’s ability to move on from less-than-welcome feelings and emotions, there is an observation that a lot of men just don’t do this very well.
Vulnerability is a frightening experience that the emotionally unavailable man hates. The willingness to be soft, transparent and open is what he blames for his past hurts and disappointments, and there is no one breathing on the planet who should be able to unlock his feelings other than himself. He must not cry, he must not be easily offended, he must not show that he cares. This is how the protective wall is built.
Overtime, he may find that socializing and interacting becomes difficult as he is not able to fully partake in the expression of emotions with other people. He is aware that he has a heavy aura, and is still sensitive enough to know that other people can smell his negativity from miles away. In his mind, it is an odour that announces to the world all of his weaknesses. Therefore, he becomes a master of observance; learning to speak when spoken to without really voicing his opinions, and mirroring the thoughts and views of those who appear to be more socially fluent and accepted. This is important, for if he stands out and draws attention to himself, he may have to explain something or the other that he would rather not talk about. In most cases, that’s practically everything.
He may try to fall in love, to remind himself that he is still a human being and not yet quite as dead as he feels himself to be. Every man knows how high love can lift you, and how hard rock bottom is when he falls face-first back to reality. If he does not heal, then any lover he has afterwards may find themselves in a relationship with someone who has the personality of a brick wall.
To love this man, in any kind of bond or relationship, you must be willing to give him room. A lot of room. He is low in confidence, usually paranoid and has so many stories of failed efforts and dreams that you would easily call him toxic and write him off if you lack the patience. He can be your father brother, cousin, friend, boyfriend or husband; his cold demeanour can be born out of any situation no matter how trivial, once his mind leads him to believe that his emotional self is a liability to his success in life overall.
Most of all, he will probably deny all these things, and to be fair different men have different struggles. Only he can break out of his self-imposed prison sentence. If you care for him at all, let him know you will love him anytime he is ready to unlock the chains.
Blessings in abundance!