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Have you ever realized the cycle of a relationship? Wait, did you even realize that relationships are a cycle? It’s funny, isn’t it? You meet someone, you’re scared of opening yourself him to him/her; you finally tear down your walls and allow that person in. Your trust and confidence grow and even though you doubt yourself, you decide to go against your instinct and show full-blown love to your partner.
You’ve been through the late-night calls, the early morning messages; you’ve lost hours of sleep just to talk to the significant other. The willingness to drop any and everything you are doing to be by their side. The time spent telling jokes, laughing, eating, and meeting friends and family.
It may not be obvious the first few times but things begin to change, we received signs to leave but we refuse to acknowledge receipt and act accordingly. Let me state an example: you and partner are accustomed to speaking five (5) times over the phone every day as the days turn into weeks, then months then years, communication regresses to three (3) times for the day, then it reaches a point where you guys no longer speak. It is now at a level where you have nothing interesting to speak about or whatever your partner says is disrespectful, obnoxious and the list will never end.
You open up yourself to someone who will eventually become a stranger. Sooner or later, the same person you are so in love with today, you will walk pass on the streets and not recognize them. Whether you remember the memories and joys shared is solely dependent on each relationship, regardless, does it make sense to keep trying, keep doing the same thing over and over? It is a known fact that continuously repeating a failed action to receive a successful result is insane. It doesn’t make sense, so what are some things you can do to ensure that the next relationship you are involved in will be successful.
Here are some factors you can consider before entering a relationship:
1. Stay true to yourself! Even though it’s extremely difficult to be you when it comes on to people and relationships, it will reap rich rewards at the end of the day. After all, who else can you be?
2. Never allow your past to affect your future. No two people are the same, your ex may have some excellent qualities that you loved and admired but don’t expect your future partner to have the same qualities.
3. Have high, but realistic expectations of your partner. It is not infeasible to expect your partner to bring you out on a date or open the doors for you. However, do not be impractical. If you both decide to build a house, save for a car, or have kids, money is needed. Do not expect your partner to bring you out on a date has regularly as they would if you both are saving towards a common goal.
4. Share the burden. So many women believe that the man is the only one expected to do the “spoiling.” I am a firm believer that everything should be 50/50; if you have a partner that you love, as the woman, you can bring him out for dinner at a fancy restaurant and pick up the bill. Take him shopping at his favorite store, surprise him while at work with lunch or breakfast, send him a detailed and heartfelt message, expressing how much you love and appreciate him for everything he has done for you and that you are proud of the person he is becoming. Believe me, men love that.
5. Be someone your partner can run to not run away from. Listen to your partner; allow them to feel a sense of release when they are with you. Rub their back, feet, or head while they are expressing to you what happened throughout their day. Be a source of comfort, not pain.
6. Never build your relationship on sex, build it on trust, love, communication, and respect. Trust your partner enough to believe that he/she first before believing the slander that follows. Love them with all your heart because times will come when you will question yourself and your partner. Communication is vital in every relationship, without it, no action you are taking would be necessary and respect your partner; treat your partner how you’d treat yourself or how you would like to be treated.
Now that I have stated at six actions that could jumpstart a new and strong relationship what are your ideas?