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There have been many cases where we as women let hurt and jealousy take control of us all because someone we truly cared about failed to fulfill their duties.
Just imagine loving someone, doing the best for them at all times; then realizing that their time and attention are focused on someone who doesn’t even notice them?
It is a shame but most of us have gone through this at one point in our lives. I’m not going to tell you to get over it because it happens to the best of us because trust me, it is not that easy. What I will suggest to you is that you consider this post
Ask yourself if whatever this person did will matter in five years? I know for a fact that your answer will be no; do not spend more than 5 minutes thinking about it.
I remember back in the day, I had a boyfriend who posted another girl’s picture on Whatsapp as his DP (display picture). A feeling came over me that I could not explain even to this day, but I felt my stomach sink and my body clenched; I felt pain.
It was so hurtful and disrespectful but two years later, it didn’t matter. The situation didn’t matter and of course, the person did not matter.
Now, we are in the prime of our days and we have so much to accomplish; do we want to waste even a second thinking about what someone didn’t do rather than appreciate those who have been contributing in ways we can’t even begin to thank them for?
I know that some of us have deep-seated anger that we want to unleash on the opposing party because we might feel it is the only way to regain self-respect. However, seeking revenge may cause more harm than you could ever imagine. Learning to overcome that feeling maturely may lead to you gaining more than you thought. Let’s discuss a few:
- Control yourself – Understanding your emotions are easier said than done. It is even worst when we encounter feelings we’ve never had before. You can try and understand these feelings by writing them down or try confiding in someone. If this doesn’t work, try repeating positive quotes to yourself such as: “I am better than my circumstances”, “This will feeling will not last”, “I am tougher than I thought”, or “I deserve the best”.
- Dissolve the feeling – Again, easier said than done but nothing beats a try. You probably know what I am going to say, find something and put your all into it blah blah blah but it’s the truth. Find something that gets your mind off your situation, this includes writing, singing, dancing, cleaning, play games, watch a series, get a new job, travel the world. Seek company from persons you haven’t seen/spoken to in a while and most importantly, never forget that time heals all wounds.
- Forgiveness – Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the behavior, it prevents it from destroying your heart. The best thing we can do is forgive not only the person that hurt us but ourselves. Yes, sometimes we place such a large amount of blame on ourselves which destroys us more. Please, remember that you are only human and you are bound to make mistakes. But, there are times when we will need to speak to the person who hurt us and seek answers to questions that haunt our mind. While we seek our answers, be compassionate, and put ourselves in their shoes even if their response doesn’t make sense.
You should never have to put up with someone who constantly hurts you no matter what their title is. It is okay to cut these people from your life and move on without taking revenge.
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Jamaican Medium Contributing Author
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