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Monday, February 8, 2021
I am somewhat out of the mental breakdown I was having last week and I would consider myself being pretty stable. Today, I found myself thinking about a lot of things, from career goals, marriage, love, friendships, assets, passive income, business ideas, social media, etc. Every year I set goals for myself and try to accomplish them but during the past two years (2) I’ve felt like I am stuck in a never-ending cycle of debt, financial loss, weight gain, and depression.
I’ve probably packed on 40 pounds during this time and have found that I am starting to hate myself which is something I have never experienced before. I blame no one else but myself for this, however.
This is something I have been thinking about for a while but I feel like I am the passenger that keeps missing the bus. In the sense that whenever I put myself out there for a man, I get hurt in one way or another and it doesn’t matter what I do it’s just never enough.
I don’t hate men and I can’t allow myself to start getting bitter but I am just tired of being hurt.
I was just thinking today, why can’t I just find my soulmate and done, I just want to find someone serious about me, loves me, and treats me as I deserve, that’s all. I don’t want to be wasting time building a life (business or otherwise) with someone who isn’t my man. Some people are for it, some people are against it but that’s what I want for myself.
Anyway, I got up super early this morning and decided to go take a walk, I like it in the early mornings because I forget some of the stress from the previous day and makes the current day better. I get the chance to think a lot and clear my mind, taking a look at space and talking to my Creator, and also see the beautiful sunrise and how amazing Jehovah is.
I am tired of this world because life gets stressful but sometimes being one on one with Jehovah by taking notice of the things, he has given us to remind us how great he is, is just peaceful. This is something you would need to experience for yourself to understand what I am saying.
I came back, did some work, and had a two-hour meeting and I also had to sort out my vehicle for tomorrow’s inspection. During all of this, I was watching a little bit of LMN and a lot of criminal minds and tried to do a few household chores.
Can’t forget those.
I also wanted to read a little bit so read two articles I posted this month:
I am hoping to post the other articles I have started regarding some other shows:
- Long Lost Daughter
- What happened to Monday
- Fatal affair
- My daughter’s ransom
Stay tuned for those…..