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It hurts my heart to write this but I lost respect for you.

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The truth is I held you at a higher standard for reasons you and I both know. I thought you were going to be different, after all, you were kind, sweet, charming, and all that good stuff. I believed everything that came out of your mouth.

I began to trust, respect, and love you even starting to become submissive to you but time and time again you have proven to me that you are not worthy.

You are not worthy of me being so caught up in you, being attracted to you, seeing you as my potential mate, my lover, my closest (dare I say, my best friend). Your words do not match your actions anymore, you consistently take spending time with me for granted not knowing that this is a luxury and privilege you cannot afford to lose.

You say you love me but do you? Or do you just love the idea of me? Someone that is always looking out for you? Someone that is a friend when you are in distress? Someone that will make sure you have it even if she doesn’t? Someone that puts you first?

It hurts my heart to write this but I lost respect for you. I no longer trust you; I’m not attracted to you anymore nor do I see myself as your potential wife because I don’t see you as a man.

You are mentally and emotionally not available, you are financially irresponsible, you are showings signs of being a gambler, addict, and drunk. Signs that I view as red flags and will not ignore because these will become bigger problems if we continue this. I’m not like other girls, I will not wait on you to act right, I am getting older and so are you, start acting like it.

Generally speaking, women should not be responsible for healing a man and vice versa. We should all take the healing process seriously because it can affect the other person that passes through your life. That is what is happening with us right now. You have not healed from whatever broke you and most importantly, you were not held accountable for your actions and now that I am calling you out, we are stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

We all experience rainy and sunny days throughout our lifetime and we know that the rain will eventually stop and the sun will shine again, so this true with situations that we encounter in life. But the key is to keep pushing because why would you be stuck in a bad situation? I do not know if I will ever regain my respect for you, I hold out hope for that because I am choosing to give you the benefit of the doubt but it will not a smooth road for you because I cannot allow myself to be blinded by who you are. 

Anything that you say or do, I will hold you accountable for and your actions will have consequences.

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