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Dear Woman’s Love
What is love?
Love can mean so much to so many people, however, does this mean that their definition of love is wrong because your definition of love is right. Is it truly a definition or is it merely an opinion stated as a fact. By whose standards should Love be measured. Well, though I may not have those answers, this is my opinion on the topic of love and what many women I believe have used as an excuse to rationalize why they love or how they should love. Though I don’t have many answers, I will ask the questions that many have been asking and through my journey will try to reason through my answer that I have come to find.
Love’s True Form
Does love deserve the amount of blame it is given or is it merely a scapegoat, an excuse for the poor decisions that we as women make in our life or relationships?
Do we have the right to sit and criticize each other on what their views of love are when we have never experienced its true form?
Certain phrases like he hurts me, but I stay because I love him or he’s a dog, but I love him still rings a bell. Do we love him though or the better question do we stay because we love the person or because we love the idea of having a man no matter how he treats us?
Having a man take advantage of you does not mean he loves you quite frankly it only means that you don’t love yourself enough to know that you deserve better.
Knowing love is when you can experience the purest love of all, Self-love. When no one can take you for an idiot because you believe in yourself more than anything else. When you look in the mirror and you love what you see every imperfection when you embrace all your flaws and blemishes because that is what gives you personality, that’s what makes you, you! That’s Love, more importantly, SELF LOVE.
Now many may say that self-love is no less than selfishness, it’s egotistic, it’s everything bad.
What do I say to that?
Everything good given in too large a portion becomes bad.
Loving yourself does not mean that you are selfish, loving yourself does not have to mean that you are egotistic. Loving yourself in the right sense, in the right way, is appreciating the fact that you are you, no cover-up, nothing to hide the fact of uniqueness. Loving yourself means that you can love others because you know and have experienced love yourself.
I don’t know if this will mean anything to anyone when I say that its the first form of love and must be experienced for you to understand and have a healthy relationship with yourself and others.
I am an example of that.
I never loved myself. When I looked in the mirror, I saw blemishes and everything that was wrong with me because of that I did not feel like I deserved anything good. If I had self-love, I would have made better decisions because I would have known that I deserve better.
So I’m writing this, not from a high chair looking down but because this is my life journey and I hope as I continue to write, you will follow me through this experience and that we will grow together, understanding what self-love is and moving closer to the other levels of love.
Loving that person enough to know that sometimes you must love from a distance.