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Can you imagine how bad it must have been for me during that period?
I think not. I don’t think you can imagine how hard it was, how hard it still is. I will be the first to admit, I am not 100% over you as yet and I am learning that is fine.
I am learning to walk again and that is fine. I am learning to get back to being kind, and positive and spread laughter and joy to the persons around me.
I moved out of that old haunt you had me living me where I was terrified of showing emotions and being kind to others.
I was terrified of moving on and living my life because I thought you were the one for me. I was scared of being a good woman for another man because you could not see that quality in me.
Worst of all, I was so afraid of loving another man because of how you treated me.
How relieved I am to know that even though I am 30% over you; I am opening myself to another man.
Something I never thought I could do again.
How blessed I am for the opportunity that you opened my eyes to see my worth.
You taught me to see and believe the red flags in other men. I grateful for the lessons you taught me about knowing my value, continue to be a good woman.
Treat others kindly and support who supports me.
I thank you for showing me that ugly side of someone’s life which now allows me to see how bad things can get for me. Thank you for showing me that my life is great, awesome, full of flaws but not nearly as bad as the shallow, dark pit of problems that is called your life.
I now know that I was never the problem, because how could you love me when you don’t live yourself? How could you give me what I wanted when you could not give yourself what you needed?
How could I be a good woman to a man like you?
How could I take care of you when you can’t take care of yourself?
How could I build a life with you when you have no life at all?
Thank you for molding me into the woman I am today. Remember how I said you broke me? Now I think you were molding me into a fine woman for the next man. I think you were grooming me for the next man. I think you were shaping me into a strong wife for a strong husband.
You don’t hate me and I don’t think you ever will. I’ve made an impact in your life that will last forever. I was the project you messed up so badly but came back out later as the greatest invention. You are the reason I am such a strong, happy, and wonderful woman. You showed me a road that I would never drive on again, a path I will never trod on and a journey I will never embark on again.
A relationship I will never entangle myself in again.
Thank you and goodbye.
Read Part One here
Read Part Two here